In 90s, one of common question that appeared on beauty pageant,” Would you opt for change with the war or stagnant world with peace?”. I always used to wonder why one or the other, why not change happening peacefully. Though never pondered much on it then, too young to care and worry. But as the third decade dawned on me, I began the philosophical journey to become intellectual and in that become attractive to single guys. Hence the apprehension why does change need to come with a revolution why can’t be a quiet turn of time. And why the sudden desire of change? Why make any resolution to amend yourself at dawn of every new year only to see them go down the drain next day?? Why re-adapt after all that pain of initial adaptation, and to prove whom? Always been told be happy with oneself and be happy with what you get, is the change because you aren’t happy with yourself or your collectives? Than why form an individuality with some experiences only to change it again because it isn’t what you wanted?
Like every single guy who is on dating scene has come across the dilemma, why aren’t I suitable for some guys, what’s wrong with me blah blah. And the answer was “I need to change” But change to what, for what, at whose will, and will there be further need of change? I was taught by my mother that each relationship needs working on, needs some compromise, some amendments. But does it need a complete change of a person, time or life? Like every new year eve I make a statement that this year will be different, it will be m year and my time. Shouldn’t every year in one’s life be his/hers, why want to it different when you have sailed your life to this year safely, even though with some hindrance, but you are still there. I realised I don’t have any answers to any question i pose. Hence I decide to jump on bandwagon of renaissance.
Lets see what my changes of this year lead to, although I promise myself I will change each year I want to do this year because current spell of loneliness and finding out if change is answer to be accepted on gay dating scene. And these changes aren’t only for the surge of relationship, but for finding elasticity of my boundaries. Also because of boredom of laziness and excuses for not been able to many things I dreamt of. 2012 came and went, Obama got elected, Saville got exposed, Indian girl showed me that they aren’t just self-sacrificing, onion chopping, regressive soaps watching sex when an atrocious crime is committed against their gender.I wanted to do so much, yell out my rage, act my wishes. But like always I got my cold feet and let my laziness take better of me. This 2013, I wouldn’t want to say its my rebirth or is going to be different, as it will just be pure utter daftness. But I would like to see what change is, what are perks of change and doest it really happen and if does is it rewarding conclusion or just a transit stop before another revolutionary change awaits to happen.
As, Barack Obama quoted “Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” I would like to see if all the resolutions I made this year need a revolt or mere trial from my part and I really am capable of change.But am sure being peacefully lazy wont bring change or will it?? Watch for space………